…and make necessary room for dates with my own friends whether it’s a quick coffee en route to the grocery store or a planned evening of a rousing “I am Woman, Hear me Roar” chorus. ~ Right now I am happy to pencil in more playdates… ~ Right now I am loving listening to my beach-loving husband get all excited talking about the Isle of Capri Sundays to come. Her favorite game right now is “I’m the mama and you’re the honey” which is pretty self-explanatory. Rocked her to sleep by the light of the moon, and it was very good. I had a rare opportunity the other night to sneak away with her alone. And yet I am so proud of her ability to ride the current and make very known that she is indeed just fine. Feeling very sentimental about how fast that flash of time is between she’s my first, my one, my only and now when things and time and feelings are shared and spread and blended. ~ Right now I am completely moonstruck over my firstborn. ~ Right now we are getting reacquainted with pools and waterparks. #IPHIX IPHONES VERMONT PLUS#Cerulean skies, pillowy clouds, and this invigorating concoction of sun plus breeze. ~ Right now we are celebrating gulf temperatures slowly rising and the utopian weather that hits south Florida this time of year. ~ Right now I am smiling watching the very present confidence that dwells in my little dancer who love, love, loves her ballet class. Clear and peaceful and not much thinking but rather a quiet contentment with this very moment. And when I do raise my hand? I’ll be as sure as shootin’, fresh pits and all. And maybe if I’m not the first to “raise my hand if I’m sure,” it doesn’t mean I forgot my deodorant but rather just that I’m working some things out. I’m learning to embrace these less-confident times as purposeful and simply stepping stones to a greater assurance in the end. Maybe it’s just a virus and needs to run its course, and maybe scrambling to prescribe something for it is a waste of concern. When a lack of confidence, insecurity, whatever you want to call it rears its ugly head, it doesn’t have to signal a five-alarm fire to get rid of it. It’s a whole lot of rambling to say this…Not having everything together, not feeling like I’m on top of things, not feeling 100% confident 100% of the time is normal. And that wasn’t meant to be confusing, but I’m sure it came out that way. I’m more insecure with the feeling of insecurity itself than I am with the origin of the original insecurity. I have insecurities and areas where I know I can grow, and what I end up doing during times where these feelings are more prevalent is freaking out, thinking these feelings don’t belong. The thing is, I have times, like every other human being, where I’m not quite sure of my place or if I’m doing things right. My point is: I push myself to grow and learn and change and, in doing so, sometimes I think too much. I meant that to be confusing, by the way. Because if I think that my thinking about how I think affects my thinking, then my thinking about what I think of thinking changes how I think. I don’t have a lot to say other than, after a week of overthinking everything, I am comfortably dwelling in a place of not thinking so much. Random Confession #2: Sometimes I play hopscotch on random tile squares in my kitchen when no one’s looking. And now I’m squinting to see between slivers of glass just to answer a call.īut it still works, so we’re gonna rock it out for awhile. Dropped it at a bad angle from the height of our bar stools and played the whole deer-in-the-headlights card when Brett walked in and saw the fate of my screen. Random Confession #1: I broke my phone this morning.
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